


What's By is By

by mattzerella_sticks



Series: Season 13 Inspired [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 13x12 Coda, Confession, Dean and Cas Reunion, M/M, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 14:08:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13548957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mattzerella_sticks/pseuds/mattzerella_sticks
Summary: Coda to 13x12The Reunion we should have gotten at the end of this episode.





	What's By is By

            The iced bag of peas is starting to thaw. Dean can feel the condensation seeping into his jeans, making the material cling awkwardly to his tender skin. He winces, shifting ever so slightly against the wall. He takes another sip of his beer, savoring every last drop.

            Far away, he can hear a rough slam of a door.

            “Sammy, is that you?” Dean calls out. No answer, just the heavy pounding of footsteps. Dean starts squirming. “Sammy? This isn’t funny. I didn’t even hear you go out!”

            The steps come closer and closer. Dean feels his skin crawl, and he glances over towards the counter where Sam had dropped their guns after dumping him unceremoniously at the kitchen table. He curls his hand around the spell book, already thinking of ten different ways he can use it as a weapon.

            Whoever they are, they’re close. They’ve stopped just at the entrance, and Dean is leaning as far out as he can to catch a glimpse – to know what he’ll be facing.

            Cas swings himself into view, sagging against the doorjamb. Dean’s eyes widen, his jaw and grip going slack.

            “Cas?” he whispers, throat tight, “Cas what the… what happened? You look like hell.”

            “As do you, Dean,” Cas says. He takes a deep breath and shuffles towards him. He places a warm hand on Dean’s ankle, eyes glowing a faint blue. Dean feels Cas’s grace weave through him, mending the broken and bruised flesh. He stretches and flexes his leg while Cas throws himself on the other side of the table, mirroring Dean’s earlier position. His head is thrown back against the wall, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down.

            That’s when Dean notices Cas’s collar.

            He shoots up and over to his side. One hand grabs his thigh while the other lets its fingers dust Cas’s neck, hovering close enough to touch the dried blood.

            Dean can barely find his voice, “What happened?”

            “…Lucifer.”

            A weight settles itself in Dean’s stomach. His heart falls out of his chest and his mouth goes dry. The lights get a bit too bright, and he swears he can smell a familiar char that had followed him since that night.

            “How…” he says, “He… are you okay?”

            “I’m fine,” Cas grits out, wincing, shifting further upright. Dean pushes him back, splayed over his chest, moving up and down with the beat of Cas’s heart. The other hand that was hovering has finally made contact, brushing his thumb up and down Cas’s neck as a reminder. The lights return to normal. There’s only stale coffee and Febreeze clogging the air.

            “What happened?”

            Cas looks away, curling in on himself. Dean leans closer, leaning down on his knees – ignoring how they groan in protest.

            “I’ve been… out of commission,” Castiel starts, “Locked away in Hell –“

            “You what?” Dean cuts him off, tightening his grip on Cas at the juncture where his neck meets his shoulder. The steady beat of Cas’s pulse grounds him.

            “I found Lucifer… well, more like Lucifer found me, after my meeting with my contact went south,” Castiel says, “He was back, but he wasn’t… fully charged? We were surprised and captured by Asmodeus easily.”

            Dean frowns, “That was… but if you were locked up…” The dots connect. “Dammit!” He stands, breaking all contact from Cas and kicking a stool over in anger. He leans against the counter, the marble digging into his skin. Dean’s breathing has gone ragged, and he can feel the power of Cas’s gaze on his back as it burns straight through him.

            “It wasn’t your fault, Dean,” Cas tells him, “Asmodeus is…”

            “A rat bastard?” He barks out, an unconvincing laugh stuck in his throat.

            “Tricky.”

            Dean turns his head, the small smile on Cas’s face snuffing out the rest of his fury.

            “So,” he walks back to him, “you were locked away… how did you get out?”

            Cas’s smile fades, and there’s a far-away look in his eyes. Dean leans against the table, reaching out to him. He lays his hand over Cas’s, the comfort of contact making him less likely to chase down Asmodeus and give him what he deserves.

            “Lucifer and I… we teamed up,” Cas says, “A necessary evil. We battled our way out until…”

            “Until…?”

            “He wanted my grace, Dean,” Cas whispers, turning back to him. His blue eyes are wide and full of unshed tears. “I knew what he would do when he was back at full power I – I couldn’t let him. When we got out, I thought I could end it with an angel blade through his chest… payback for what he…” He trails off.

            “…And?”

            “It didn’t work,” Cas sighs, “His eyes flickered… but that was all. It took him a second – a _second_ – to catch me off-guard and slit my throat,” he grazes his own fingers over the healed wound, “And take my grace.”

            “He didn’t take all of it though,” Dean says, trying to smile, “You patched me up, that means you have somethin’ right?” Cas can’t meet his eyes, rubbing at his neck instead. Dean catches a hint of the char in the air, and he leans further into Cas. He puts his hand back on Cas’s chest, to remind himself again. Cas is here. There is no hole. His heart is beating –

            His heart is _beating_.

            “You’re human?”

            “For now,” Cas admits in a low voice, “Lucifer left me with some grace but… it will take a long time before I am at full power and –“

            “And you used the last of it to fix me up, didn’t you?”

            Cas doesn’t answer.

            “Shit, Cas, you didn’t have to,” Dean starts, “You need to think about yourself –“

            “I wanted to do something good,” Cas says, “I wanted to feel useful… one more time.”

            “Cas,” Dean says, “You’re useful just by being here – you don’t need to heal me up all the time.”

            Cas frowns deeper, and still can’t meet Dean’s eyes. Dean sighs and starts to play with Cas’s fingers.

            “It doesn’t matter,” Cas sighs, “There are… more things we should be worried about.”

            “More?”

            “Michael.”

            “Was he locked up with you, too?” Dean asks, “’Cuz last thing I remember he went Looney Tunes locked up in The Cage. I don’t think we need to worry about him.”

            “Not our Michael, the… the other one. From the Apocalypse World.” Dean’s eyes widen. “Lucifer warned me… he’s coming. He has an angel tablet and… he has Kevin. He wants to open a portal to our world and conquer it with his angel army.”

            “He… what?”

            “And worst of all, Dean,” Cas finally looks up, “he has Mary.”

            All the wind leaves Dean’s lungs. He’s drowning, lost in the vision Jack had shared with them. Mary being tortured by Michael as it turns out. He can feel something squeeze his hand, and someone’s calling out to him…

            “Dean!”

            Cas is there, at his side. Their hands are entwined, and he’s looking up at Dean with so much concern it nearly breaks his heart.

            Dean can see he’s in pain, but like all the other times Dean’s been in trouble, Cas ignores it and stays by his side.

            He stands, taking a few dizzying steps away.

            “We’re screwed.”

            “Dean don’t say that –“

            “But we are!” Dean turns on him, “This Michael… he _conquered_ his universe. He’s got Mom and… and he has an angel tablet and wants to bring an angel army into our world? I mean come on!”

            “He can’t though,” Cas starts, “With Jack here –“

            “But he’s not!” Dean yells, “He’s over there! Trapped! We… we lost him…”

            Dean leans against the counter again, tears threating to spill out. He hears Cas get up, slowly making his way towards him. Cas’s arms snake across Dean’s chest, and he can feel the warm press of Cas’s body against his own.

            He blushes.

            “Forgive me if I’m a tad too… forward,” Cas starts, “But… there’s not much I can do to offer comfort except –“

            “No, Cas, you’re fine,” Dean sighs, sagging into his embrace, clutching his hands against him. “I… I don’t deserve you, y’know?”

            “Hmm?”

            “You come in all hurt and what’s the first thing you do?” he asks, “Heal me.” They’ve started to sway, and Dean doesn’t know who started it. “I should be caring for _you_ … but here you are. You’re just too… _good_. Too good for a selfish bastard like myself.”

            Dean can feel Cas’s breath ghosting across his neck.

            “Dean,” Cas starts, “I would not be here if I was not selfish.” Dean tries to turn, to face him, but Cas stops him with his own head. “Please, if you were to look at me… I don’t think I’d be able to continue.” Dean swallows, and stills.

            “Everything I do for you… it’s for me as well. Fighting by your side… watching my grace as it fixes you… seeing you smile… it makes me _feel_ a certain way. I always want to feel that way, and chase after it every time I’m within your presence. Please don’t think of yourself as selfish, because everything I give to you I give freely.”

            “Cas…”

            “Being human,” Cas huffs, “I feel _loose_ … I don’t think I would have ever admitted that if I was at my full power.”

            Dean manages a smile. He twists in Cas’s hold, and throws his arms over Cas’s shoulders.

            “Human _is_ a nice look on you,” he admits, tapping his forehead against Cas’s, “I think I like it. No… I love it.”

            They stop moving.

            “I love _you_.”

            Dean had pictured this so many times in different ways. There were the moments where they’d be riding high off a win, surrounded by the bodies of their enemies. There were times where one of them was cradling the other, final moments slipping away. And some were simple – sitting side by side, in the car, at the park.

            There was The End. The last night on Earth. A ring of fire. A tattered trench coat. Purgatory. A crypt. April’s apartment. Gas'n'Sip. Nora's House. The warehouses. Amara. Chuck. Lucifer. Jack. Castiel coming back again and again and again.

            “I love you,” he says again, “And no matter what happens… I want to face it with you.”

            Castiel smiles back at him. “As do I… Dean, I… I love you, too.”

            There’s so much out there they’ll have to face. Lucifer roams free, Asmodeus has a stranglehold on Hell, and somewhere Jack and Mary are at the mercy of Michael.

            But for tonight, there’s just them.

            They’re standing together in the middle of the kitchen, swaying to whatever melody is in their heads. Cas’s eyelids start to droop down, and Dean chuckles at the sight.

            “I think someone needs to get some sleep,” Dean says, “It’s what we humans tend to do.”

            Cas tries to say something, but it gets lost in a yawn.

            “Sleep with me?” Dean asks, “I… I don’t think we should be alone tonight.”

            Cas smiles, leaning further into him, “Yes… I’d like that very much.”

            And when Dean curls into Cas, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest as he dreams, he can’t help but agree with him.


End file.
